How to Use Your Credit Card To Buy Stuff Online

To use a credit card online you need to have a current and valid card in your name, and preferably in front of you when you are thinking of making a purchase.

This is because you will need to enter the card number, about sixteen digits, plus the expiry date and maybe the little secret code on the back of the card.

In addition, if you are on a new shopping site or your card provider has decent fraud checking in place, you will need to enter your password attached to the card account.

Card companies are very hot on fraud, and all these checks are to make sure it is you using your card, not someone else.

That's really all there is to it.

Choose your purchases from an online store like Amazon.

When you are finished go the online checkout and choose delivery options.

Then follow the prompts for your credit card details. There will usually be warnings not to press twice, but to be patient, and after a few moments your details will be accepted.

You will normally get an immediate confirmation email to your email account.

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The rest of this article is a humorous look at credit card purchasing, containing very little real information but a few laughs.

• Ever wondered how to make purchases using a credit card?
• How to buy stuff from the internet?
• Are you ashamed because you have no debts?

This article is for you, and your credit card.

Warning

May contain jokes or wry comment. If you are easily offended or just slightly dim then it may be best if you move elsewhere.

You can do this by using the back button, or switching off your PC.

If however you want to learn the technical, physical and philosophical aspects of internet shopping or buying stuff online - using your credit card to make a purchase of your own one day - then read on.

Technical Stuff

First of all there is some equipment you are going to need. If you do not have a PC and are reading this over a friends shoulder then don't worry! You can borrow your friends machine. That's if you trust them with your credit card details of course.

Thought not.

You will need a home computer - surely everyone has one of these?

Plus some means of connecting to the internet, or shopping channel as we professionals call it. This is usually set up by a wire that goes into a wall socket somewhere.

Tip: Do not plug any wires in yourself. Get your partner, if they are insured, to do it. If they are not insured use a small child.

You need a mouse to be able to hover over shopping opportunities (we'll teach you about how to click later on), and a reasonably comfortable chair.

You also need a valid credit card. This is very important.

If you don't have a credit card then bookmark this page (write down the long address at the top of the screen on a post-it) and go and get one.

Then you can come back for the rest of the lesson.

It's not always easy to know exactly where the adverts are on an internet page.

Sometimes they are in amongst the text, sometimes to the side, maybe in picture format. That's when random clicking can help. Using your mouse, move around the screen clicking every so often until a new screen with a shopping opportunity appears.

If there is no place to enter your credit card number then just continue with the random click pattern until the right screen appears. Then you can enter your details. Practice this until you have got the hang of it, or your credit card limit is exceeded.

If at first you don't succeed, just keep clicking. The internet was designed by eBay so that all paths eventually lead to a credit card entry opportunity.

Once you have mastered random clicking it is time to move on to a more advanced form of shopping. This is where you use the mouse to point and click on specific items that you wish to purchase.

I know. Scary, isn't it? But don't worry - with our five step secret guide to success you will be a master purchaser or credit card user within a short space of time.

• Relax. Breath steadily. Wipe off any sweat with a tissue or cloth.
• Hold the mouse lightly with the click finger ready but not too close.
• Working from left to right, view small portions of the screen.
• Does that element of the screen interest you? If so click on it.
• Enter your credit card details.

You have now mastered the secrets of credit card purchasing. It feels good doesn't it? The product you order will probably arrive before the bill does, so that's another plus point.

Now you are ready to join the mass of people who enjoy spending every last penny and more buying stuff from the internet.

At last you will be able to join in conversations about purchases you have made, and the joy of owning the latest must have accessory.

This is the stuff that keeps our economy ticking over so you are now a patriotic consumer.

Well done, and happy shopping!

Some people are worried about entering their personal details into a computer box. What if other people stole it and used it to buy their own stuff?

Personally I think this is one of those myths which has no place in the mindset of a serious shopper. But if you are one of those worrying types who doesn't get out much (no offence), then here's a few ways to protect yourself.

• Always keep your credit card close to its maximum limit. That way if it does get stolen there's not so much fun for the criminal.
• Use main shopping sites and brand names where possible. Don't go hunting for bargains in backwaters. In fact, only use Amazon. You have heard of Amazon right?
• And as a last resort, although in some ways my favourite - use your partners credit card. Chances are they wrote the pin down on a post-it. Steal it.

As our economies are largely built on buying stuff you don't need on credit - it is vital that we make sure everyone is able to join in.

It is your civic duty to Share this knowledge, by using the button below, so that we can continue to live way beyond our means.

Remember - ask not what you can do for your country - ask what the purchase options are.

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