Alternative for Dogs Who Hate Wearing Lampshade Collars
87Please note. Always check with your vet first before changing the collar. There may be medical reasons why your dog should stick to the Elizabethan collar.
Dogs hate wearing collars.
They particularly dislike wearing the Elizabethan or Lampshade collar. This is the final insult to add to whatever surgical procedure they may have just undergone.
Not only have they had to visit the vets, but now they need to wear this ridiculous item that means they can't see to the side of them, they can't do essential doggy things, and other dogs regard it as a green light to attack them.
I mean, if you see someone coming down the street wearing a plastic cone - what's your first thought?
Something wrong with them. In dog world, something wrong doesn't mean sympathy. It means a weak member of the pack, and weak members are a danger to their wellbeing.
Would you wear one of these collars? I don't mean drunk, we've all done that hilarious thing with a lamp shade on our head. I mean as a post-op protection against you biting out your stitches.
Yeah OK, it's not a great example.
Anyway, you wouldn't wear one.
Problems with Lampshade Collars
They are hard plastic, which will damage not only your dogs self esteem, but possibly furniture, small children or anything that the poor dog blunders into.
They prevent the dog from doing a variety of things, such as eating poo, sniffing other dogs, attacking postmen - OK, you get the idea.
They encourage other dogs to have a go at your dog because frankly it looks stupid. And different. And any dog will tell you, different is bad.
As a final "right I have enough of this garbage the vet has tied round my dogs neck" they are not 100% effective in what they try to do.
That is because a dog with enough intelligence can fairly easily get out of a lampshade, and go back to eating it's own leg off in order to fix whatever ails it.
I say intelligence. What I really mean is my boy. A whirlwind terrier - he can escape from a cone collar in about a minute. Now we could tie it on so tight he starts to turn blue in the face but then we'd end up with a dead dog.
A dead dog, with a plastic Elizabethan collar on it's head does not float my boat in any kind of animal caring fashion.
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Miserable Dog With Elizabethan Collar
Inflatable Collar... Yippee!
Lampshade Collar Alternative
Taking my dog as an example of most cussed determined pain in the ass terrier that it is possible to own - and oh yes I absolutely love him to bits - I needed an alternative to the plastic collar embarassment.
Not every one knows that there is an alternative.
If the vet says "do this" we do it. Sometimes though the vet is just pushing the thing they want you to use, and make their bit of profit out of it.
Now I don't care too much about that. I want the vet to make a profit, and be there next time I need them. But I care more about my dog.
If he won't wear it, and can't go out in it, and the thing doesn't work anyway...
Here finally is my solution. Tried, tested and I didn't get bitten once. Only joking. He never bites me.
The Inflatable Collar
How can it work?
It doesn't completely cover his head and make him look a total idiot.
It slips over his head, like a collar, and you inflate it. Like a balloon.
The dog cannot turn his head sufficiently to be able to reach the injured part. It is so simple.
Now it's not invisible. And he still has to wear something. But it is so much better than the plastic cone of stupidity.
Despite my dog being the most cussed, awkward son of a .... OK, I 've done that... despite all that he wore his collar, his injury healed, and we deflated it ready for next time.
It's one of the few products I have bought that just performed.
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Here's an Amazon Link - They Have Loads of Course
 | Amazon Price: $10.88 List Price: $22.99 |
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Very good product and it's not an Amazon photo! I agree about that darn cone thing, you could never get my dogs to wear those, they'd probably run away and never come home again for the embarrassment of it.
Yes, initially I thought they were protecting the dogs head or something. If a dog has any kind of foreign object on it's body - stitches, socks, scars, ticks, skin trouble - it will deal with it by licking, biting and scratching. So the plastic collar was 'invented'.
Our dog wouldn't wear one...
Would you?
Well, I do what I'm told. And with my cheekbones I could probably carry it off.
Indeed. We no longer have a dog, but we used to. And a dog I had when my kids were young had to wear one of those lampshade things for a while.
As you point out, it didn't work. He was smart enough to get one shoulder down on the ground, and push/drag himself along with his feet until he succeeded in turning the thing inside-out, so that it was "protecting" his ribs instead of preventing his head from turning. Thus, he was very well able to reach his rump where he had chewed his tail raw from a flea allergy. (It was a BAD year for fleas that year.)
I don't think they had those inflatables back in the 1970's.
More recently, I had to attempt to use one of those stupid cones on a cat. Right. Snugged up as tight as it would go, she was still free of it inside of 30 seconds! We simply had to ride herd on her, and make sure she was within sight at all times.
Great hub--voted up all around!
Lol Dzy, that inside out thing sounds fun to deal with! They are quite determined to remove the things. Although my boy wasn't pleased with his inflatable, he just ignored it after the first putting on. No big deal.
And yes, they do the same thing for cats. But I don't 'do' cats.
LOL--I always wanted a kitty as a kid, but my dad wasn't a "cat person." We had dogs from time to time. I've more or less always had a dog. When my kids were little, I got my first cat. Jumping ahead about 25 years, after we lost our last doggie back in 2004, our own physical conditions had deteriorated to the point that we are not able to deal with a dog. (Much more high-maintenance than cats.) So, we are now "crazy cat people," with 6 of the little dears. ;-)
I'm glad to hear the inflatable collar works for cats too. My cat removed her cone of shame by herself. She would then hide it. It took me hours to find it. The issue with her is that she dental surgery and couldn't get fur in her stitches or it would never heal. So we had to get her a temporary collar. She's an indoor cat, so she doesn't need one normally.
She hid it? Brilliant. Good cat thinking.
My boy doesn't like wearing a coat either. He went in a bush wearing one. He came out without it. He doesn't wear a coat anymore.
Once again, a great laugh! I love your writing . . . will you be my mentor?
Thanks Marcy. I might be, but I need to Google it first.
edit: Oh no. That's way too much effort. But I will answer comments where possible.
My cat managed to remove his collar while he was in his carrier on the way home from the vet. No matter how tight i fastened it, he got out of it.
Ugh. I wouldn't wear one, and I sure wouldn't want to put one on my pup. More dog pics, please!
Well done.
UW - that must be some sort of record. In a carrier as well - these animals are all Houdinis.
Motown - I seem to have started showing pictures of my dogs. There may be no stopping me...
Poor poochy. Aw. For once your hub is not funny.
Well I did my best! No animals were harmed, etc.
Great recommendation, Mark! I hope my dog won't need it, but it wouldn't hurt to have one on hand, "just in case." (I'm a firm believer in "just in case" readiness.)
Since she had to wear one of the lampshade variety when she was a couple of years old, I want to avoid ever using one of those things again. She walked around the house bumping into furniture, walls and people. No fun.
Moreover, the Amazon link shows the inflatable collar is very inexpensive, and Amazon is my online go-to store, so I always get free shipping, plus there's no tax. I think I should add a Contech Procollar to my next Amazon order, don't you? (And perhaps you'll earn 5 cents for my clicking on the link.)
P.S. Your dog's a cutie pie.
Hi Jaye, the sale is great but do you know? Hearing you say "he's a cutie pie" does it for me. I can't tell you how much he means to me.
And grudgingly back to the product. It really did work for him, he barely noticed wearing it, whereas the lampshade obviously a no-no. He was still very glad to get it off though.
I can guess how much he means to you, Mark, because I love my own dog so very much! The humans in my life tell me I love her TOO MUCH, but I don't think you can love a pet or a person too much...do you?
I haven't had to get one of these for my dog, but if I have to, I will keep this in mind. Looks like a little inner-tube collar but better than a reverse dunce cap! Vote up.
Jaye - no I don't think so. Very special.
Ashley - yep, that's about it. Other dogs don't do that freak out thing when they see it.
What a great product Mark.. I had an over-sized and overactive German Shepperd several years back who on the advice of the ex-wife and 4 daughters had to have his unmentionables chopped off..
He ended up wearing one of those stupid lampshades and managed to get his revenge on everyone in the house by running past them like a demented bulldozer on steroids taking people down as if they were pins in a bowling alley!
Great anecdote and I don't blame him! It was my wife who insisted that our boy was done "for his own good". I suspect that if she could have got a two for one offer...
Great dog, Mark. I can imagine he fills your life, as does any bona fide (see the attempt at a pun) dog.
That thing about the vet, though, My dog, malcolm, confided in me that the thing he disliked most about our vet, was that the minute he saw Malcolm, he put his finger (or something) up his bottom. Malcolm said he had never worn a cone, but he felt that a cone would restrict one's view of a vet coming up behind one to...
You know the rest.
Ah LOL very much Twilight. Thanks for that! Still laughing. Maybe it's all a plot by vets so they can sneak up like that. Very unsporting.
Re. the dog and life filling. Oh yes. Not sure how I can do him a write up and not get done for purely personal stuff - I'll try to find a way sometime.
Loved the pics of your 'boy', Mark ... he's a Westie, isn't he? So glad you have found an alternative to the cone of shame ... it's so bad for his pavement cred.
TL - what sort of a *&%£ing name for a dog is Malcolm!
Have to admit that I prefer cats though ... it's all that strange obsession you have to have with poo that puts me off.
Yep, Westie and Tasmanian Devil cross. I'm wouldn't say I'm obsessed with poo - I'd prefer life without it though.
Mark, I wallowed in the love I had for my Guys and no one shot me down. I couldn't have got more personal.
Angie, you ask the question "what sort of a *&%£ing name for a dog is Malcolm!" in your most ladylike manner, I note.
Try 'Zoran the Magnificent' (Although he liked to call himself Zoki),
or 'Semiramide' (She preferred to be addressed as Semi.
Their mother, 'Dulcie Dorking-Dog'.
What's your problem, woman?
I suppose you call your *&%£ing cat something like Miss Furry Pops, or some such *&%£ing name, Innit.
x
Plus, if he falls in a lake, he won't drown because he's got an inner tube specifically designed to point his breathing orifices skyward. It would be literally impossible for him to drown. (There's a whole new product angle for you, for a second way to capitalize on the keywords... "dog floaties" :D )
Of course. The main plus point to these and I forgot to mention it! Thanks Shades, and thanks from all those soon to be doggie floaters out there.
Editors note: This product is not recommended as a dog flotation device.
TL - my office ... NOW!
Sorry, Miss!
Someone else made me do it.
Incredible alternative to the doggy party hat! My Simon, the most allergic, bite his butt, scratch his legs and every available spot on his body dog thanks you! And I just got my Amazon gift card. Yippppeee!! FB'd, tweeted and Google plussed!
That looks like a really good idea, and best wishes to your doggie friend.
Dorsi, poor Simon. On the advice of a vet we tried low dose anti histamines to get over particular problem times. Good luck!
Thanks Chris, he's feeling pretty famous now.
I hate those lampshade collars, they look like torture. The inflatable collar not only looks more humane, but if the dog falls in the pool and no one notices.....
Well, it might help, but what an awful thought. He's less likely to fall in if he can see where he's going I suppose.
This is pretty awesome. I wonder if they make these for hamsters. My hamster doesn't really need it, I just think it would be funny. She would probably bite me though. Never mind. Voted up! Great hub!
Now a hamster collar would be very sweet indeed. I think any hamster would have it off, chewed and stored away inside five minutes.
I have a large dog (an over sized yellow lab)and tried the inflatable collar. It was no help at all. I see how it might work for smaller dogs and cats. Great idea, it just needs some adjustments.
Mak, Mark, I am forever going to be grateful to you! Oh thank you!
You are so right, the vet does not seem to understand my problem...Peanut can totally get out of the dumb cone...he has had one before...and figured out - if he sticks his head between the rails on the stairwell or back porch - he can get it off! The he is smart enough to HIDE it from me! Lol lol
I'm going to go hunting and see where I can find one of these today and I hope I don't have to mail order one:) up and every single button - this is the first time - I've ever thought - I wish there was a LOVE button:))))
Oh great thanks, and I hope this works for Peanut! If it's an area of his front legs (paws) he might still be able to reach but for the rest of the dog we found this worked really well.
BlissfulWriter Level 5 Commenter 3 months ago
Funny hub. Not having a dog, I always did wonder what the lampshade collar was for.