How to Write a Successful Article at Hubpages

88

By Mark Ewbie

Writing Articles for Success

This monster of an article was written by an amateur writer at the online writing site known as HubPages.

It started off as a joke, then became serious and has now turned into either a worthwhile comment on the nature of writing successful articles or a satire on success and what it really means.

The choice is yours.

...

I’ve been here long enough now to know all about Hubpages and what drives what.

Three months - which is a lifetime in article writing terms. Most people write their initial how to be a success page within the first few days – so I have clearly waited for a decent amount of time.

This page may not suit some of the following people…

  • Anyone who has been here longer than me will of course look down their nose and say “what does this guy know?” Well I can live with that.
  • The proper writers will cast a disparaging look at my attention grabbing headline, spot the not so deliberate English mistakes and mutter something uncharitable to themselves about the great uneducated.
  • There are those who have been here for less time and got more hits who will think “what a prize fool”, and go back to their keyword research and back linking, and substantial profits.
  • Add in the few who have already met me on the forums – they’ll know what the deal is and will quickly skip on to something more to their liking and less wasting of their time.
  • Hubpage staff will be well aware of my traffic stats and will probably harrumph and carry on with their daily task of looking after the site.
  • External visitors who will realise that the search term they keyed in does not match in any way with this page and will back arrow quicker than I can finish this sentence.
  • Tag linkers who were having a nice enjoyable browse through Hubpage output and landed on this through a dodgy link.

...

And that leaves you.

God only knows what category you fit into but I’ll deal with that later when I review my Analytics. Or you could leave a comment, tell me about yourself, what you like to do and so on. I’m not interested, but that’s the sort of thing you need to put in pages to get liked.



World Web Awards, Obviously
See all 9 photos
World Web Awards, Obviously
Source: Mark Ewbie

Answer the Question

OK, to be fair, for once I will not prevaricate around the proverbial.

The answer is really in two parts and I’m pushing it to stretch it that far.

To be honest - I cheated.

All I did was choose a title that Hubbers like – anything that mentions success and Hubpages is almost a nailed on winner. When I say winner, I mean it may make the Hot list for a few days – which to me is a success. In Hub page terms.

There’s no way in the world I could get onto the actual Best list, so Hot is my measure.

So the answer, or my answer, is put Success and Hubpages into the title.


Google, I'm Over Here
Google, I'm Over Here
Source: Mark Ewbie

What’s The Second Part?

Ah well, now that’s an admission of almost total failure.

You see there are two measures of success in my opinion. Hubpage and Search Engine.

HubPages success comes from joining and mingling, getting known, hanging around and generally bigging yourself up at every opportunity.

Not spamming, I don’t mean spamming. Well.. Ok then.. spamming but with humour. It will get a lot forgiven if you can just lighten the load a little.

The second part is Search Engines. Bastards. What are they doing to me? A trickle is all I get, no matter what I write, and believe me I’ve tried to mix it up. Today, in fact this month, it seems to be getting worse – which is slightly annoying.

I have heard of something called the Google Sandbox, which if it does exist, seems to have put my pages under the discarded ice cream wrapper and the dog turd.


And no, I still haven't given up the day job.
And no, I still haven't given up the day job.
Source: Mark

Alright Then, Calm Down

OK, OK. Another piece of garbage that wasted your time when you wanted some genuine well written information.

Didn’t you check the profile pic?

What do you expect from a badly drawn child’s cartoon? Some Shakespeare perhaps?

Maybe something along the lines of a Wiki telling you everything you needed to know?

Perhaps War and Peace, but in a cartoon format?

Remember – check the pic, if it’s sick - don’t click.

Anyway, I will give you a bit of what I have picked up. It hasn’t done me any good so I can’t recommend you following it.

If you are just writing for ego and Hubpage traffic then write anything you want, give it a good title, put some effort in and publish it. It’s simple. Over time you will naturally acquire some sort of following, and some of them will read and comment. Ego satisfied, you can move on and write some more.

But for real traffic…


Writing Inspiration for Successful Articles
Writing Inspiration for Successful Articles

What Do I Really Know?

I know that my articles are not getting much traffic.

Sometimes none at all.

Even the ones I have done a bit of keyword research on don’t seem any better. In fact the accidental successes outweigh those where I have tried.

So all I know at this point is that I am not as successful as others who seem to drop in and write about stuff people are looking for.

Oh yeah, I’ve looked at SEO, keywords, back linking and so on. But I am not interested in technical stuff. I naively thought I could just write and people would search and visit.

Now before you complain - the title is HubPage Success, not Search Engine Success. And quite frankly there is a world of difference.

I can only apologize for not having anything more to offer you. You are perfectly welcome to leave a disparaging comment at this point. If you check my stuff then you will at least see what doesn’t work. It may be of some use to you.

I also apologise to any copiers who were hoping to rip me off and make some money. If I knew how to write successful articles you would be the first to know.


At least I got the WTF accolade.
At least I got the WTF accolade.
Source: Mark

Patience and Vacuums

People say be patient and let them age. It seems that articles may pick up after six months or so.

So only another three months to go.

Shall I write another 75 articles in the meantime?

It’s hard to just keep writing into a vacuum of traffic.

To be perfectly frank, if I were to write a total of 150 pieces of slightly humorous comment, on some ego fuelled trip, and then still not make any money I would feel a bit of a fool. And a failure.

I’ll give it another three months. And then I might write another page about Success. Lucky you.

edit: Incidentally I stuck around for another year, wrote 250 pages and still didn't make any money. But am I down hearted?

Hell yeah.



I'm half way there.  That's if the pinnacle is three dollars a month.  Plus a free gerbil. Or hamster.
I'm half way there. That's if the pinnacle is three dollars a month. Plus a free gerbil. Or hamster.
Source: Mark

I’ll Leave It There

Probably nuff said for now. You have been very tolerant to read a page of my pointless nonsense, and if I can assume you didn’t flag it then thanks are due.

If you did flag it then I can’t say I blame you.

You are welcome to leave a comment or not, it’s not an issue.

I find answering comments quite hard anyway because I can never quite remember what the piece was about.

When I get comments I have to read the damn thing again to make sure I answer in the general tone of the page.

Was I trying to be funny or serious?

It would be a shame to blow my whole cover for a single off the cuff remark.

I’m not sure what I was trying to achieve on this page. Maybe a few more Hubber hits, just to cheer me up.


One More Thing

Now don’t get the wrong impression.

Although I am down about traffic I am not fed up with Hubpages. I love writing, I love the site and the software and I enjoy the community. It’s a brilliant outlet and great fun.

Maybe the most valuable lesson is that money isn’t everything. Not much of a lesson admittedly, and won’t sell much – but it’s all I have for today.

...

Update: As expected the winning combination of Success and Hubpages kept this article in the coveted Hot Hubs section for a few days more than my usual efforts. So, legally speaking, it was worth you reading this just for that useful tip.

Please refer any other claims about misleading content or unreadable drivel through the usual channels.

...

Oh yeah. Here's some more ads, Kindle versions. Learn from the true masters. Well, someone whose got a publishing deal and a snappy title anyway. If you haven't got a Kindle, er, you can download the thing to your computer. It might well vanish, but then you can probably find an article on Recovering my Lost Kindle Title.

edit: I took the ads off. Google decided that any article with an ad on it deserved a slap, so in a desperate attempt to at least get the occasional viewer... I took the ads off. You'll just have to look up the product on Amazon yourself. It wasn't any good anyway.



Panda Likes Reading Too...
Panda Likes Reading Too...
Source: Mark Ewbie

Another Update

I often add bits to pages, sometimes well after publication - so there's a tip of sorts. You can, or I can anyway, always improve that initial offering.

Having seen this page rise to page 2 (oh boy!) of the Hot Hubs I am feeling a bit fraudulent. All those hubbers who hoped for some real information, all those other pages with real contents - and in among them is me with this.

I had thought it would just be a bit of fun, but now feel this article should make some kind of serious attempt at living up to the title.

So as soon as I come up with something I'll let you know...


Last Update... Promise

I reached Page 1! Only wrote this page as a joke and an experiment in titling.

It didn’t start off as a joke either; just a moan about my lack of Google traffic. Still, as some people seem to have found it funny let’s claim that was the intention from the outset.

Like life imitating art, you could argue it really is a Successful Article, at least in the limited terms laid out previously. Art is used in its loosest sense there.

Anyhow, as a result of this ‘success’ I have now realised I am a proper author and should behave as such. Therefore one has adopted the following writer mannerisms.

  • wearing a tweed jacket indoors
  • smoking a pipe (when the wife is out).
  • striking mournful and thoughtful poses by the living room window
  • drinking writer’s nectar from a mug rather than directly from the beer can.


Now I need to crack on with my latest efforts “How I Wrote a Successful Article” and “Secrets of Successful Article Writing” – as soon as this hangover has cleared.

For more success stories (definitely not spam) subscribe to my RSS feed – whatever that is.


The Last Chapter
The Last Chapter
Source: Mark Ewbie

Final Update

I'm a bit scared to touch this page in case it jinxes it.

It has become a monster - sometimes at the top of the Best and the Hot hubs. This has scared me slightly.

For one - I am a total fraud, with no idea how to write money making articles.

It's like parking a huge expensive car outside my house but inside the wallpaper is falling off the walls and the rent is way overdue. I don't really want a reputation as total time waster - at least not unless there's some money in it.

Secondly - how to cope with the inevitable fall? Given that this article (note how I'm calling it an article rather than just a page of doodlings) is 99% of my traffic - what am I going to feel like when it eventually falls out of view? "If you can treat triumph and disaster"... etc.

Yeah, well I'm no Rudyard Kipling that's for sure. I've had plenty of disasters but triumph is a whole new ball game.

Thirdly - I have written, in my opinion, funnier and better stuff than this. For every hit this page gets (I'm giving up with the 'article' terminology) it says to those other pages "nah nah ne nah nah".

Perhaps this update will prove the final straw - the page will overload, collapse and disappear. Then I can go back to writing misleading information for a surprisingly (to me) ungrateful audience that does its best to avoid it.

A battle of wills which up until this page the audience had largely won.

My apologies for that.


This picture is intended to convey the idea of you finishing reading and putting the article back on the shelf. Of course internet reading is nothing like that and so I round off this pointless page with an equally pointless picture. Ciao!
This picture is intended to convey the idea of you finishing reading and putting the article back on the shelf. Of course internet reading is nothing like that and so I round off this pointless page with an equally pointless picture. Ciao!
Source: Mark Ewbie

.



Kindle HubPages Advice

How To Make Money With Hubpages
Amazon Price: $4.99

Final Postscript

Of course this page did eventually crash and burn, although it still gets the odd visit from time to time. And I guess people are still ripped off by it, as it offers no secrets to success. Apologies in a fake internet way for that.

I do know a bit more now though, a year on from when I knocked this up.

If I were to offer you any proper thoughts on writing successful pages it would be as follows.

Do the very best you can. Create something that a reader will find useful or enjoyable, or have some value to them. Revisit and improve pages as you learn new techniques, or become a better writer, or simply have a new angle to offer.

I now think there are three measurements of success.


  1. Are you proud of it?
  2. Did Hubbers like it?
  3. Does the search world think it is worth a look?


If you got this far down the page then thanks for reading. I am definitely stopping now.





Comments

Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

Well, when you've got a score of 96 (most unsatisfactory sexual position, by the way) beside your picture... and I have something like minus thirty (-30), can't see why you're complaining.

By the way (again) I almost choked on my coffee when I read: "Or you could leave a comment, tell me about yourself, what you like to do and so on. I’m not interested, but that’s the sort of thing you need to put in pages to get liked."

That's the sort of writing that makes me read you Mark.

Cheers!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Twilight, I hope that by reading this you will become almost as successful as me. Actually friend, I don't wish that on anyone, least of all yourself.

Glad you like the false bonhomie, I can only wonder how many people get offended and leave at these points.

Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

None are going to leave unless they are completely lacking in intelligence and/or a sense of humour. I have never failed to be entertained (and sometimes even educated) by your wonderful hubs.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Twilight, you have earnt every penny of the five pounds I sent you earlier.. thanks very much indeed.

ns1209 profile image

ns1209 15 months ago

Anyone who has been here longer than me will of course look down their nose and say “what does this guy know?” Well I can live with that. :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi ns, well you have a lot more time under your belt. But thanks for your comment, most of which appears to be my words, with a smiley on the end of it.

ns1209 profile image

ns1209 15 months ago

I know I thought I could not waste too much time on this page with no tips but that seems to have failed as I am currently typing this. Also why is there a nice little picture saying World Web Awards hidden secretly below!

Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

Mark - I so wanted to leave a disparaging comment but I just can't. And I do love your badly drawn avatar. My advise is to follow the advise of successsfull hubbers (the ones who know how to do things like spell) and have some patience. 3 months isn't really a long time.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@ns - thanks for wasting some more of your time. The Web awards just happens to be there, I must have clicked on something by mistake. :)

@Dolores - thanks for not being disparaging, your art comments, your good advice, and your spelling. I'm not very good at being patient.

AngRose profile image

AngRose 15 months ago

Mark,

I like to read, take long walks on the beach, swim, and watch movies. Oh wait, were you being sarcastic when you said you wanted to learn more about me?? Shame on you for setting a girl up that way! No wonder people don't want to come and comment on your stuff.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Oh Ang, your info is fascinating and thanks for commenting. I always love hearing about other people and empathy and stuff. I hadn't noticed that sarcastic remark until now, don't know how it got there. I'll probably remove it next week sometime.

Pcunix profile image

Pcunix Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

My name is Tony. I'm a Pisces. I too like long walks on the beach and short walks to the computer.

But seriously: you are writing too much about writing. Nothing wrong with tossing that in when you like, but you need to write more about stuff people might need to know - like how to refurbish over bent dingbat bolts.

Aiden Roberts profile image

Aiden Roberts 15 months ago

You are obviously having fun so don't ever change, well if you want to earn a bit of money under this profile maybe change a little bit :)

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 15 months ago

How refreshing! I was thinking this Hub would be another one of those mostly rehashed "how to make money HERE" things, and was totally delighted to know you aren't making any money either. Oops...don't mean to be TOO disparaging. :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Pcunix - too much writing about writing. Yes, you are right - it's what my brain does when I am thinking of writing something. I need to discover an interest - like walks on the beach, the beauty of sunsets - anything I suppose.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Aiden - thankyou for the fun and not changing comment. I spent years just posting rubbish on forums and apart from the length of my rubbish nothing much has changed. I love it. Google doesn't. We'll see who wins this battle.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Sally - yes, that's partly where I was coming from. Although it was a shameless attempt to get some hits as well, because that's what a lot of the 'hot' articles seem to be. The hits are of no financial value anyway, but of course there's an ego to feed, if nothing else.

Genna East profile image

Genna East Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

Always charming, and a delightful read, and welcome...like warm toast and jam with my morning coffee. I, for one wouldn’t have it any other way. :) Keep writing.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Oh Genna, thankyou - I need to frame that one. You've made me feel really great. Bit inadequate response of mine really, but for once I am, almost, lost for words.

Diana Lee profile image

Diana Lee Level 5 Commenter 15 months ago

I thought your hub to be very entertaining. A chuckle or two never hurt anyone. Writing hubs for the fun of it is what it's all about. That's good as I have yet to make my first dime. Yet this new found past time is giving me the practice I need to someday have a career in writing.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks Diana.. good luck to you.

Sunnyglitter profile image

Sunnyglitter Level 3 Commenter 15 months ago

This hub was completely not what I expected. I loved it. Nice job. I'm cracking up over here.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

It surprised me as well Sunnyglitter. I was expecting to create a really useful page of information.

Karen Banes profile image

Karen Banes 15 months ago

OK I am suing you. I have come away from this hub with no actionable strategies whatsoever and painful sides from LMAO. Please send me copious amounts of compensation ASAP. Thank you in anticipation.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Dear Karen. Thankyou for your letter and I have discussed it with my lawyers. We are prepared to offer you a percentage cut of the profits so far in lieu of any court action. Not sure if the same legal term applies in Canade but that's zilch basically.

Nice try.

ps. glad you enjoyed it.

rachelsholiday profile image

rachelsholiday 15 months ago

I also found this piece to be pretty enjoyable. What I learned, write what you want. If you're successful, cool. If you're not, then whatever, at least you got to write something.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

That's about the strength of it Rachel. But then I would say that because I have not cracked the outside traffic mystery yet. If I was really successful - boy would you know about it.

OK, seriously - writing is wonderful. Income is nice too. Apparently.

carolapple profile image

carolapple 15 months ago

I've also been here 3 months and have not been nearly as copious as you; but I am beginning to think maybe I'm agonizing a little too much over every hub. I am finding HubPages to be mostly fun and useful as a community of people who like to write. One of my 7 hubs seems to get a decent amount of Google traffic, so that is encouraging.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

The traffic thing is very encouraging, good luck to you Carol. As regards agonizing - I think we each set and try to maintain our own standards. Rather than try to be perfect I write, publish and then agonize.

AquteIntel profile image

AquteIntel 15 months ago

Thank you for writing this - as you say it isn't easy writing a really good page on Hubpages.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks for commenting AquteIntel - no, it's not easy. One day I will manage it. I have already thought of a title "My Really Good Page" and it will contain all sorts of knowledge and stuff.

thebluestar profile image

thebluestar Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

You are very clever my friend. I see that your line is far more readable than any of mine. And, I do try to write from the heart, off the cuff and the usual dribble. But you beat me fair and square.

I must follow your example and just write, maybe then I can receive fan mail, comments and advice lol

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Ah well bluestar, I think your comment is clever too, and quite possibly too clever for me. "Just writing" is the best place to be - in terms of personal satisfaction and creating something that one can be proud of.

As for fan mail and comments - I hang around the forums and promote myself a lot - if I had any soul I'd be ashamed of myself.

smalika profile image

smalika 15 months ago

there's definite humour lolz.. :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

If only I could figure out the definite sales smalika, and the definite traffic.

Ghaelach profile image

Ghaelach Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

Nice Hub Mark. On a cold Sunday afternoon here in Germany it's nice to have a good laugh. Haven't read any of your other hubs, but with 226 followers and 81 hubs in three months i can only think that going by this hub some of them must be good. Keep it up.

Ghaelach

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks Ghaelach - and I will try to be more optimistic. Some of the others are rubbish by the way.

speedbird profile image

speedbird 15 months ago

I have been here long enough more than you but I still find you hub very useful.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Well thanks speedbird, you are very kind.

shabarigirish profile image

shabarigirish 15 months ago

Very funny and clever hub Mark. Great explanation on what doesn't works out! I am looking forward for your second hub on this topic, hope 3 months finishes soon.

I have couple of hubs showing PR2 but big 0 visitors for months. One of them started showing 1-2 visitors in a week, hope it grows and starts getting 1000000 views in a day. :)

Thumps up for not getting frustrated, keep writing for ego at least, you may not know when adsense knocks your door... :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks very much shabarigirish - a million hits a day would be cool. More realistically ten would be nice. But hey.. yeah.. spirits high - I love writing and this is a great place to do it.

Green Wasabi profile image

Green Wasabi 15 months ago

Are you still not getting traffic? Your hub is really entertaining so it's hard to believe :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it GW and it's nice of you to say so. Unfortunately something can be worth reading (arguably) but if no one's looking for it then it won't get a whole lot of traffic. Seems obvious really, but it's taken me a few months to realise.

Keywords, keyowrds, keywrods - always allow for typos.

dianebowling profile image

dianebowling 15 months ago

Thanks for the pick me up! We can all use a little humor in our lives.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

My pleasure Diane. I know it's not a serious and sensible way to achieve whatever, but I think you can have too much serious. Thanks for your comment.

davewschmidt profile image

davewschmidt 15 months ago

You know, after reading this, my outlook has changed. From this point on I expect nothing. When I get a response, a follower, a whatever, it will be like Christmas. Merry Christmas Mark.

Bronson_Hub profile image

Bronson_Hub 15 months ago

I had no idea this page existed, and it's amazing. I LOVE your presentation! It goes to show that great minds think alike! But you're a lot more warm, fuzzy, and fun to read than I am. Plus your pictures seal the deal when it comes to awesomeness of your ability to express a point. I'm in hetero-love.

RichERich1175 profile image

RichERich1175 15 months ago

Loved your writing style--and, let me tell you, this newbie to Hubpages certainly appreciates your knowledge. Loved the scribbles also!!

char4u.com profile image

char4u.com 15 months ago

I read some kinda sincerity behind the humorous lines, that's the part I admire most! And next is the writing style, very sophisticated, I have to say!

Maria Cecilia profile image

Maria Cecilia Level 4 Commenter 15 months ago

Mark this really refreshes the mind...I enjoy writing in hubpages, and only appreciate the earnings when I see my first 1$. If the aim in writing hubpages is to earn more than to enjoy, one will really get bored.

Like your avatar too....

Rusty C. Adore profile image

Rusty C. Adore 15 months ago

Not gonna lie, I totally clicked on your hub because it had Hubpages and successful in the title. I'm a follower. I tried desperately to stop reading, but I couldn't. So, thanks for that. I guess I'll vote it up,too. If it's what all the cool kids are doing...

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Jesus - you take a few hours out, like to have a sleep and you get all these comments to answer. That's a downside of a 'successful' page which I hadn't considered.

@davewschmidt - I like the Xmas thing - good image. Don't be put off by my moaning - I am one of very many - all having different experiences.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@bronson - your comment sums up why I love your writing too - natural, easy, all that kind of stuff. I try not to offend anyone... most of the time.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Richie - thanks all round. It takes nerve to write, but I tell you, it takes a lot more nerve to put my 'drawings' up here.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Jean - I'm glad you found it amusing, which hopefully makes up for the disappointment of there not being any real information.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@char4u - I like the sincerity thing you picked up on. It's pretty much from the heart, otherwise it would be hard work. I don't really do hard work.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Maria - I like to find an angle that is slightly new - or just twist it slightly. If the page is enjoyable then I've achieved what I wanted. There's a lot of us trying on here, just sharing really.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Rusty - I guess you're now officially cool. You should get an accolade for it, but a thanks from me is probably all you get. At least you'll know not to read it when you see my name against the next one.

Fay Paxton 15 months ago

This was a delightful read. Thanks for the laugh.

rated funny

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks Fay, and good luck to you in your Hubpage career.

M. T. Dremer profile image

M. T. Dremer Level 4 Commenter 15 months ago

This reminds me of a hub I wrote titled "How to make little or no money on hubpages". Though, looking back, I probably should have tried your method; told them it was how to be successful, then pulled the rug out from beneath them. I think it is one of my lowest ranked hubs, right beside all those 'thoughtful' hubs I tried to write. At the top are all the graphic design tutorials with boobie pictures on the cover. Oh well, I guess whatever brings in the clicks is okay with me; I'm sure that money will show up some day.

Oh, great hub by the way. :D

FifthEdition profile image

FifthEdition 15 months ago

i like you...you're funny :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@MT Dremer - I have been surprised and slightly alarmed by how well this article has worked in terms of Hub attention. Something about positive messages, albeit (arguably) misleading ones.

I read your hub, of course, and it is good. Even great.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@FifthEdition - thanks. One day I plan to be beautiful, then awesome and finally... useful.

amandavalentine profile image

amandavalentine 15 months ago

Thanks for the hints.I'll be sure to use them next time I'll write a hub :D

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Amanda, as long as it doesn't result in a legal action please feel free...

Hindol Adhya profile image

Hindol Adhya 15 months ago

Well, it seems to me that people are more interested in reading "How to become successful" guides instead of actually writing stuff. I do look like a fool making this comment myself though, :), cause I am doing just that.

I must say your English is extremely good. You have used many words that I failed to recognize (it's a shortcoming on my part and not yours). Yet your Hub never got boring.

Oh yes, you are witty and humorous too. Halfway through the article I was actually looking for your next Amazon capsule as opposed to ignoring them.

Maria Cecilia profile image

Maria Cecilia Level 4 Commenter 15 months ago

Mark I just want to say that I enjoy reading this hub..

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

@Hindol - thanks for your comment. I think there's something about "how to win" that makes some of us take a look even though we know it won't be of any help. I try not to use too many long words (I don't really know that many), but I love the variety that English provides - and I want to try to improve my skills. So it's a line to tread - keep it easy to understand but have a bit of fun as well. And lastly, looking for Amazon capsules is wonderful news.

Thanks again for your comment.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Maria - nice to see you again. I have modified it a bit, and the comments just seem to keep growing so I guess it's worth a revisit - plug, plug.

Matt_Anselmi profile image

Matt_Anselmi 15 months ago

This is CLASSIC! Definately enjoyed reading it!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Matt my friend - I am glad you enjoyed it, and took the time to leave a comment. Give me positive feedback over income any day - I love it. Apart from the much needed ego boost that all writers need (I assume), it also helps me to know what works and what doesn't.

Not that I could do much to change it anyway.

Thanks.

gammie profile image

gammie 15 months ago

Hang in there - look at me - joined many months ago and I just wrote my first hub. I'll get there though - good hub!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Gammie, that's a long time waiting for your first hub. Good luck with it.

aimdoll profile image

aimdoll 15 months ago

Mark, I am pretty sure I found you on the "Best" link. I think you know what you are doing and emulating your success here on HubPages, seems like a bright idea to me. Thanks for your insightful information. I definitely appreciated the humorous aspect of your writing style.

Karanda profile image

Karanda Level 3 Commenter 15 months ago

Congratulations Mr Ewbie on your most successful HubPage, entitled, How to Write a Successful HubPages Article. I knew you'd get there eventually. I've had faith in you from the moment we first met. 96 on the the Hot List is no easy feat, believe me I've tried and failed with 43 Hubs.

You know the saying, build it and they will come, you've done everything you can, now you just need faith and patience - oh, yeah, and more keyword research with tags to match, backlinking and other stuff I don't understand either. Well done you anyway.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks aimdoll - I wouldn't emulate anything. This page doing well on HP, but out there, in Google land, it's as if I never existed.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Karanda, If one of us discovers the secret - please let the other one know. But hey, I'll keep the faith and the patience for a while longer. Maybe tomorrow it will all come right. Anyway, this little success was nice while it lasted.

crystolite profile image

crystolite 15 months ago

Nice article here. I will try and give it a trial

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Good luck with that Crystolite!

eventsyoudesign profile image

eventsyoudesign 15 months ago

I would tell you about myself, but even I am not interested in learning more about myself. Great hub. You are very humorous and I like your kind of humor. Thanks for writing this article and feel free to write many more. I will read them. Teresa

Steph Harris profile image

Steph Harris 15 months ago

Brilliant Mark, you caused me to choke over my chicken soup rather than chuckle, but I do like a man with a sense of humour. Good Hub.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thankyou Teresa - I'm pretty sure I will write many more. Although I seem to complain - I'm loving it.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Steph - Chicken soup is novel, glad you choked... sort of. You know what I mean.

IzzyM profile image

IzzyM Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

I nearly missed this gem! I was looking at the titles in the "Hottest Hubs of the Day" list and thought I'd open it just to see the usual drivel being spouted, but was very pleasantly surprised to see you were the author. That made me read it! I didn't learn anything, but it made me smile :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Oh thank you Izzy! I'm pleased you smiled - after the day we have had (traffic) a smile is something. Whether the Great Google engine would consider it worth indexing - I don't really care too much. It's been a long 24 hours.

kellysgirl profile image

kellysgirl 15 months ago

I've got to say Mark, I admire you tenancity at 82 hubs in 3 months. I've been on here almost 2 years (I think) and only have 12 . Guess it shows my level of dedication - but I'm working on it.

Barbara Kay profile image

Barbara Kay Level 6 Commenter 15 months ago

Very entertaining!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Hi Kelly - looking back on them it seems a lot. But they all just happened, one at a time.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Thanks Barbara - 'entertaining' is my defence. 'informative' and 'researched' are not.

Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine Level 7 Commenter 15 months ago

Hi Mark - very funny piece considering it's written by a cartoon. How do you write with only 2 fingers on your hands?

Gotta admit I will forgive most things if humour's involved - even luring me on to this hub under false pretences. (Should have known there is no such thing as a free lunch).

All the best

Angie

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 15 months ago

Angie, you are the first one to mention false pretences and that deserves a hurried apology. Rather than, er, apologise though I prefer to explain myself. You see, there is far too much well researched stuff out there and I figure people can get a little drained by it all.

So I just try to surprise and lighten the load a little.

All the best to you too.

Roxielady profile image

Roxielady 14 months ago

So wonderfully satirical; I love it! You are on the right course.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks Roxie. Unfortunately I can't always manage a similar level of comment, and this is one of those times.

Lenora LOVE profile image

Lenora LOVE 14 months ago

Hello Mark! -- My Name is Lenora Love Whiteside, and I am a Poet! Poetry Writing and Sharing is My Passion! I had my Hubpage Account for quite awhile, Because of you ..I Logged in to began my first of "Writing Many Successful Hubpages! -- I learned alot from you in this article! ... Perhaps one day I will have to explain it back too you in case you are interested! -- Thank You in advance for sharing your wealth of knowledge of "Success Hubpage Writings! -- Haven't seen your other Articles but I will put you on my things to read list and be sure to follow you very closely! ... Would You Please Follow Me Back? -- THANK YOU! ... PS! -- I was First to give You the "BEAUTIFUL" Article "VOTE" :-)

jseven profile image

jseven 14 months ago

i found this to be quite refreshing from the usual "twelve steps" that most writers use to enlighten curious seekers of the big pot of gold at the end of the the Google secret "algore." I started writing online because my bed has too many journals under it, and my dog has now shredded about half off them. It's better for me to write creatively and hopefully, than to stare at that keyword tool so long that I dream of long lists of high-paying keywords that end up being spammed up all over viagra adds.

Nice job of sarcasm and grabbing an eclectic's attention. Carry on. :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Lenora- thanks for your comment, and, er, vote! Best way to get going is to read the TOS, FAQs, forums (a bit) and get writing.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hi Jseven - I am grateful to the lost traffic for sparking my sarcastic rant mode. And thanks for your comment.

crystolite profile image

crystolite 14 months ago

mark Ewbie,nice article u have here for a stsrter keep it up.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks Crystolite, I intend to.

Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg Level 5 Commenter 14 months ago

I really had expected some dither about earning money, I am entirely glad that it wasn't so! I've read enough of them to last a lifetime all to no avail! I'm still a broke writer! I take that back, I was doing some research today and did find 2 pennies, when I get to bored I can rub them together!

If nothing else, I did have a good laugh today! Thanks, much appreciated!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks to you for reading and commenting Sweetsusieg. I only wrote this as a joky moan and I am slightly horrified the way the thing seems to have stuck itself on the Hot Hubs list. How I made 2 Pennies might be be a good title.

DaNoblest profile image

DaNoblest 14 months ago

Thank you for providing me with what I needed more than another how to. A laugh and smile suit me just fine now. It really is becoming tedious to figure out what I am doing wrong and why im not on my own private beach writing this after a few weeks here.

After reading this I decided to silence the evil task master in my head and enjoy myself a bit now. Thanks again and keep it going!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks DaNoblest - a private beach would be nice. Still a smile is worth something. Good luck with your writing.

mikanatsumi profile image

mikanatsumi 14 months ago

good article! :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thankyou mikanatsumi...

Maria Harris profile image

Maria Harris 14 months ago

I truly enjoyed reading your hub. Very amusing!Thank you!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

The funny thing is Maria - it really is (for me) successful. Just seems to stick there. Surely everyone will have read it eventually. Then I'll go back to the usual couple of hits and cobwebs. Glad you enjoyed it.

JLClose profile image

JLClose 14 months ago

Thanks for the fun read!

khanscool profile image

khanscool 14 months ago

Good article...i like your way of eaxplanation..and your perceptions..Good Keep-up the Good work..i'm also a Self Developer Advisor...you are also welcome into my Articles

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks Khan and good luck with your articles...

Thriller profile image

Thriller 14 months ago

Good one! I did learn something from this, combine success with hubpages to be successful!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hi Thriller, I can see you are a fast learner. If you feel like sharing any profits you make from the back of this vital knowledge, please let me know.

ammara aseer profile image

ammara aseer 14 months ago

Good job.. Your article is realy awsome. I realy enjoy it and will wait for new one.thankyou!

PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 Level 7 Commenter 14 months ago

It sounds like you might become a Male Erma Bombeck, you are funny. Also, a very good writer, as well. However,as far as the Search Engines non-visits to our blogs and how they operate; I believe we should give them a low score. Do you think they would care? I don't think so.

Have a Great Day!

Bobbi

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thankyou Ammara - I'm sure there will be more to come. I feel I owe it to Hubpages to do an honest one at some point.. but don't hold your breath.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks Bobbi - I had to Wiki Erma Bombeck, just in case I was being flamed, but no, I am delighted... thankyou! As for Search Engines.. don't start me off, especially after their latest efforts to remove all trace of my traffic.

You have a great day too! And thanks once again.

jill betts profile image

jill betts 14 months ago

Thanks for the hints.I'll be sure to use them next time I'll write a hub

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Well Jill, there's going to be a lot of "Successful" hubs out there for sure.

daisyf1305 profile image

daisyf1305 Level 2 Commenter 14 months ago

awesome read ur real fudge the spelling we get it, keep writing hey i have been here for like ever and just made my first 100 which is somewhere in the mail. So good luck and I will be looking forward to ur awsomeness!!!!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hey Daisy, thanks! I have never been awesome before and am looking forward to more of it. Congrats on ur 100!

munirahmadmughal 14 months ago

"How to write a successful HubPages Article?"

Talent has become patent in this Hub.

Freedom of expression has become ferocious yet truthful.

Grace despite such galloping race has remained on the face.

Excellent.

May God bless all.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Munirah - "how to write a Successful comment" - nice one.

htodd profile image

htodd 14 months ago

Such a nice hub about Hubpage article writing

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks htodd - they are not usually this nice but this one just seemed to hit the spot.

Ddraigcoch profile image

Ddraigcoch Level 4 Commenter 14 months ago

Ha ha , you'r writing in to the vacuum of traffic hit home. I have serious writers block. Mainly because there is so much noise in this house. You are lucky if you can concentrate long enough to remember what website you were looking for.

I adore your sense of humour. It comes through extremely well. Thank you for the uplift.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hi Ddraigcoch - it is generally quiet here. Until all hell lets loose because I "have been staring at that stupid website for hours again instead fo doing family stuff".

I'm glad you were uplifted, that is good enough for me. If I can't make money well at least I can make the occasional smile.

Rosefall profile image

Rosefall 14 months ago

You may be the smartest guy on Hubpages. LOL, great article! I really love the Amazon plugs.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Well I don't know about that Rosefall.. but I don't mind hearing it that's for sure. No, seriously, lots of great smart people here. But thanks a lot...

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red Level 6 Commenter 14 months ago

You made me laugh as always. Keep up the good writing and I'll read.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

It's a deal Pamela, although who can say how the next one will turn out. Rarely as intended that's for sure.

jennifercriston profile image

jennifercriston 14 months ago

You have expressed imaginative ideas for writing articles.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks Jennifer, I need to go and reread it. I was fairly sure I removed anything of use before publishing.

Spacey Gracey profile image

Spacey Gracey 14 months ago

blimey - took me chuffing ages to scroll to the bottom of these comments. If i added up all the comments i've ever had it probably wouldn't match what you've got here. Loved the hub but deeply disturbed that 7 people have marked it as 'useful' :)

Wannos profile image

Wannos 14 months ago

Quality, im on here having a browse about how to start my own 'successful' Hub and saw yours, at first thought you were mad as a brush but after reading the whole decided your a damned funny writer.

Good work, Im now going to seek additionaly wierd and wonderful tips, ignore them all, do my own thing and rub my ego alone!!

Juzamin profile image

Juzamin 14 months ago

You have lifted my mood. This is cheerful writing, and on the quirky side, I like it!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Spacey - I can't believe the comments either.. maybe I should delete some.

@Wannos - do your own thing - absolutely - good luck.

@Juzamin - glad you liked it.

Thanks to all and I'm trying to save scrolling time here...

marcoujor profile image

marcoujor Level 8 Commenter 14 months ago

I feel so fickle but my older brother called me BIG HEAD (actually still does / I'm pretty old...) and I was wildly attracted to your fine art... thanks for the break/ as I am learning the ropes.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Good luck with your writing marcojour.

Dawn Conklin profile image

Dawn Conklin Level 5 Commenter 14 months ago

Hi Mark, I would leave a comment about myself but I know you are not interested :) This is an awesome hub, I always like to read things that put a smile on my face or give me a good chuckle.

rallyre profile image

rallyre 14 months ago

Great article. I think I'll take a shot at writing with a humorous angle. I think that one tip (the title) is important and it was worth reading just for that. Thanks.

inbo5599 profile image

inbo5599 14 months ago

Pretty smart!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Dawn - I need to try a bit harder with that empathy thing.

@Rallyre - go for the humour. What's to lose? Dignity, respect...

@inbo5599 - Thankyou.

Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah Level 2 Commenter 14 months ago

So many hubs in such a short time? excellent. Thanks for the tips

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Hezekiah - in my pursuit for writing excellence I have resisted sacrificing quanity for the sake of quality.

Azure11 profile image

Azure11 Level 4 Commenter 14 months ago

Loved the hub but I have to say I got bored reading all the comments and scooted to the end of the page so I may repeat others :-) Great writing, I have recently resorted to some slightly bizarre hubs as more of an experiment than anything but I think i will now go and write something with 'successful' and maybe 'page 1 of google' and see if I can get loads of traffic from that!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hi Azure - there's a lot to scan through, and only so many ways I can say "thanks for reading". This has been a hit (in my terms) as regards internal HP traffic but I don't think anyone from the outside world has seen it.

fcmosher profile image

fcmosher 14 months ago

Yes, good stuff. Three months? I've been writing here for three DAYS, so I'm not looking down my nose so much as looking up at yours -- ew! But I do have over 100 articles on eHow, wriiten before they went over to the darkside/Demand Media, and I can tell you that it took over a year to make any money at all. Even now I am thrilled to make barely $40 a month on those suckers. Patience, my friend.

(eHow.com articles, in case you're curious, written as FCMosher.)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks for the comment FCMosher (great name) and I will check them out when I get some free time. I know that sounds like a kiss off - it's not.

kerats profile image

kerats 14 months ago

Whether you are interested or not, you put a smile on my face today! Kudos!!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

kerats... that's what I like to hear. More than anything really - thanks.

Tracy Lynn Conway profile image

Tracy Lynn Conway Level 5 Commenter 14 months ago

What a great hub! Your writing has a great flow to it and I enjoyed the change in your article as it went from frustration to humor as life often does. I look forward to reading more from you. Maybe when you are wearing your tweed jacket indoors, smoking a pipe, while you wife is away, you can draw a new more sophisticated stick figure with color perhaps and get people to click since it won't be as sick.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

What a great comment Tracy! A colour stick figure - that would be a step up for sure.

sho. t profile image

sho. t 14 months ago

What a great read. It made a great start to my day.

stevenkingsley 14 months ago

your article have really inspired me...

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@sho.t - interesting name. Glad you had a good start to the day!

@Steven - better get writing then!

steeeeve9 profile image

steeeeve9 14 months ago

i greatly enjoyed your humor, thank you for making me smile. i havent been on this site long (hahaha only like 4 or 5 hours)and was originally looking for info on how to/what to write and your article was the first i ever read. i now see that really anything goes, your article while you seemed to think it would not be read much (mind you i do not even know what much would be considered) has seemed to gather a fair amount of comments, i assume that that is a good thing. well i hope to read more amusing things by you in the future. cheers

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Thanks steeeeve9 and please let me say there is a lot of good intelligent helpful information available elsewhere on this site (although not on this page), plus heaps of friendly helpers. So enjoy it here.

steeeeve9 profile image

steeeeve9 14 months ago

hmmm thank you mark ewbie for replying...random(well not really random) but how do you get followers? and who exactly is reading this stuff only other hubbers? sorry for asking all these questions...what the bloody hell is one suppose to write about...i wrote crap that i thought some people may read but what i want to write about (science and how people are too obsessed with things that dont matter) i dont think will go over too well...i guess that wasnt really a question more of a rant.... sorry...thank you for your time :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

OK Steeeeve9 - I'm not really an expert here, just a relative newbie who got lucky with a successful page. I read one of your hubs - well written. Your next step - visit the forums - extreme hub makeover - get it reviewed and start to mingle. Check out the advice section - I don't know where it is, not very good at taking advice myself - but I'm sure it is good.

This page gets visited by Hubbers mainly, like most of my stuff, I don't get much outside traffic or money. But there's plenty of advice around on that too.

Finally. The forums are the most helpful nicest bunch of people I've come across - play nice and they will be nice back.

Bevan the Evan 14 months ago

Hiilo,

I are stupiding internet guy! (Canadian) Success muchly, webhubs and all. If when are writing what people know others about themselves and moneyhits generating, what is meaning of this?

Yerr faxinating successfulnesses is mint-boggling!~ Please help another lick you@!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Fantastic comment Bevan. Arguably better than my article.

steeeeve9 profile image

steeeeve9 14 months ago

thank you :D

good luck

searchinsany profile image

searchinsany Level 4 Commenter 14 months ago

Absolutely brilliant!

And my comment is pretty good too.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Yep, your comment is superb.

Vancouver Web Design 14 months ago

Thank you I really liked your article. I am new to hubpages and any information how to get most of it is appreciated.

PaulyP 14 months ago

Young man, you have superpowers. You linked your own page to your page. And now I feel like a dumbass.

Congratulations.

Also

I did learn something from all of this.

a good title.

and lots of bullshit (at least if i have nothing intelligent to say)

although both pages were intelligent in design

soucyrene profile image

soucyrene 14 months ago

Through your article, I could be a successful hubber. Thanks

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@PaulyP - I hear what you are saying and you are largely, if not wholly, correct. However, rather than just churning out useless spam my efforts are aimed at producing amusing useless spam. A lighter moment amongst the, er, less light moments.

@soucyrene - phew. Thanks.

Dee Righter profile image

Dee Righter 14 months ago

Interesting information to read for a virgin Hubber - thank you. Interesting observations - but too long for me :) obviously however, very successful - so well done and good luck to you :-)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Too long? The comments are too long, thats for sure. Good luck to you 2.

Cathy I profile image

Cathy I 14 months ago

I read, I smiled, I laughed....you did have me fooled, but you are right, your article was only about writing successful Hubpages articles. We really do see what we want to see, and keywords do carry a tremendous amount of weight. Congratulations...you proved your case. So just keep doing what you do best.

Wendy S. Wilmoth profile image

Wendy S. Wilmoth 14 months ago

This is a hoot! Absolutely love it. It gives me hope. Cheers!

Ingenira profile image

Ingenira Level 5 Commenter 14 months ago

Don't behave, it'd be less fun if you do. LOL...

I don't think Google robot really know what you are writing as long as the keywords are in your page, and readers keep pouring in, stay on and like what they are reading. :) yeah, wait another 3 months and see what you get.

Meanwhile, don't take many long walk to the beach... but take more short walks to the computer.

Ambassador Butler 14 months ago

I love what you have written. Down to earth and a great sense of humor. I have written the greatest article on the earth which can not be seen through hubpages with my 1 unpublished hub. I put my article on the internet with google on June 2010 A.D. and 2 months later referring sites found my article on August 2010 A.D. My article is seen in 8 countries through 100 percent referring sites. I earned my first 1 cent on December 28, 2010 A.D. I should get my first adsense payout by May 2011 or June 2011. Referring sites are real traffic to get for your article/hub but seems people ignore this way to get traffic and that is fine with me because I am going around the world through 100 percent referring sites traffic. Referring sites only pick up and use excellent articles/hub and you must be patient for them to find your article which took them 2 months to find my article and spread it around the world for me with me having to do nothing except sit back and watch the money flow in for the greatest article on the earth.

rebekahELLE profile image

rebekahELLE Level 5 Commenter 14 months ago

Oh, what fun! I decided to do some hub reading before I shut down for the night and I saw this hub shining brightly at the top of, not only Hot Hubs, but also Best Hubs... congrats! It gave me giggles and warm fuzzies to end the night. Enjoy your reign at the top!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Cathy - my only excuse is that the poor reader gets something to read, even if the 'secret' was much of a deal. Mind you, it's not the first time that happens on the internet.

@Wendy - hope is what we all need when we press that Publish button.

@Ingenira - funnily the 'success' has slowed down my writing a bit. I don't want to rock the boat.

@Ambassador - it must be great to be referred.

@rebekahElle - I am absolutely gobsmacked by this result I can tell you. Only supposed to be a bit of fun.

sosiecki profile image

sosiecki 14 months ago

Mark,real cool and natural writing.Keep it up

ProCW profile image

ProCW 14 months ago

Nice information, Mark. I'm sure many newbies and oldies alike will benefit from your research/findings. Best wishes and a "Vote Up"! :)

Dreamer08 profile image

Dreamer08 14 months ago

How do I get comments, Mark? I'm new and i've written 3 hubs but no one has commented yet.

Ps. I like your writing style.. Very natural and conversational. Keep it up!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@byronlee, sosiecki and ProCW - thanks. I like to type your names out so they might stick in my memory.

@Dreamer - thanks and if you want to get noticed try to contribute in some way in the forums, or ask for a hub makeover. Don't spam, be natural and its a good way to get attention. Of course (sensible, not spamming) commenting on hubs also helps - people may come and have a look. Good luck, and good luck to all new writers.

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 Level 8 Commenter 14 months ago

I love misinformational articles... I find they encourage me to try harder even though I have really never tried to write a hub the entire time. If someone is amused, I get a little bit of a high off of it. If they don't read... well hopefully when it comes an old lady hub people will start to notice. If not, I will start doing massive backlinking to my own articles just for satisfaction and to see if it raises my hub karma. Either way, glad to have wasted my time here... I am going to go waste some more time now! :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Hey barbergirl - I'll take that as a compliment and I like "old lady hub".

freelancewriterva profile image

freelancewriterva 14 months ago

Wow, I found this hub fascinating. The number of comments you received is outstanding. I really enjoy your reply to all who wrote to you. Great Hub. Great Job.

Lita C. Malicdem profile image

Lita C. Malicdem Level 4 Commenter 14 months ago

I stayed a lot of time here trying to figure out at what category I fit, because I'm the type who comes and goes unmindful of whatever happens when I post a hub (this old lady just want to write). In the end, I know I was totally amused, entertained, fascinated. I like it here! Good job, Mark!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@freelancewriterva - I'm glad you appreciate the hard work these comments have been. I ran out of funny things to say about 75 comments ago.

@Lita - You are in the category that says nice comments - I hadn't originally allowed for that, because tbh I hadn't expected any. Apart from Twilight - he usually says something nice.

jamiecoins profile image

jamiecoins 14 months ago

ha cool hub like your views :)

everybody follow me im amazing lol

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@jamie - you have certainly amazed me.

NewLifeOnRoad profile image

NewLifeOnRoad 14 months ago

Great way to get attention - you got mine and I love reading and blogging :)

Cheers

Lisa

sklein profile image

sklein 14 months ago

I get these emails from these scam artist claiming that I'm the Beneficiary of 5 million dollars. All I need to do is send them $97 to claim my ATM card, and be on easy street. I don't know why, but after reading your article I feel compelled to send you the $97. Good job, you're obviously doing a lot of things right.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@NewLifeOnTheRoad - thanks. The attention thing worked a little better than I was expecting.

@sklein - thanks. The one small thing I'm failing to do is make any money at it. But I'll crack this thing one day.

ratnaveera profile image

ratnaveera Level 1 Commenter 14 months ago

Dear Mark Ewbie, Thank you very much for giving great tips to become a successful Hubber. Useful Hub! Voted Up!

Megsangel profile image

Megsangel 14 months ago

Your a real "hoot". I enjoyed your article -- and as for traffic -- lets face it -- who really ever gets it --- but if you don't get some as a result of this article - give up.

As you have been here much longer than me, i only started a few hours ago, could you tell me, where do I paste the "Contera" link. I did put it right on the top of my topic section but it dose'nt seem right.

Anyway, i am glad i stumbled upon your write up it was great. If you are interested in generating traffic one way could be to write an article in EZINE and direct traffic to your hubpage -- just a thought. I imagine that could work as EZINE articles get read by heaps of people so long as they are accepted.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@ratnaveera - thanks for commenting.

@Megsangel - I'm sorry, don't know anything about that Kontera? thing. But the forums are very helpful. Thanks for Ezine tip - I have a lot to learn.

spirefive profile image

spirefive 14 months ago

Thanks for providing such an in-depth article.

KwameG profile image

KwameG Level 1 Commenter 14 months ago

Very Entertaining - Very Mark Twainish, Thanks

eclecticeducation profile image

eclecticeducation 14 months ago

Thank you for the information!

gclitty profile image

gclitty Level 1 Commenter 14 months ago

So...after like an hour scrolling through the myriad comments I would just like to tell you a little about me, and what I like to do. I am a sixteen year old High School student who will undoubtedly surpass you in any kind of literary genius.=) I like to write, play basketball, talk trash, and challenge people. On that note, i challenge you to respond to this comment and explain to me how to turn adsense off. thanks. -gio

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@spirefive - thanks.

@KwameG - I don't know about that, but thanks.

@eclecticeducation - what information? Thanks, anyway.

@gclitty - ah, one of those 'difficult' comments. Clever and requires a clever answer. Unfortunately I don't have a whole lot of time (copout). Yes, you will surpass me I'm sure. As for Adsense - edit hub, settings, play with the Adsense ones until something happens. It may not work, in which case, proceed to the forums.

arcadereview 14 months ago

If you want to really write an article and earn some money, stay off Hubpages :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

Ouch! Well I'm still prepared to give it time. Anyway I can't go yet - I have all these comments to answer.

Puppyluv profile image

Puppyluv 14 months ago

Thanks for the laugh! Came in looking for some actual tips on being a success here, but came away with a laugh and less stress about it. :)

Selarisa profile image

Selarisa 14 months ago

I lol'd through most of your article, and then lol'd even more through all the comments and had to add my own. I'm the kind of person who will read a smartass article before an informational one anyways :) I'm new to hub pages (4 days) and just finished posting my first article. You are the first "hubber" I've decided to follow because from your attitude and humour I believe this will not be the first time one of your articles makes it to the "best" list and I want to see what you come up with next :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 14 months ago

@Puppyluv - I'm not sure whether tips on success are ever what they are cracked up to be. Same with Secrets.

@Selarisa - lolling is good. Very good. Thanks.

celeBritys4africA profile image

celeBritys4africA 14 months ago

You are so popular.

Enlydia Listener profile image

Enlydia Listener Level 6 Commenter 13 months ago

Thankyou for asking us to tell about ourselves...I'm a Virgin...I mean Virgo. I am glad for all the non-advice you gave me today...and I am jealous of all your comments...If only I could write something funny...sigh!

Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 13 months ago

LMAO! i loved this! and it is true. sometimes when writing to the masses, you have to bend the truth a little, and get peoples hopes up, before shooting them all down.

although i've been reading the comments and can't remember the content of the article, perhaps i should read it again and discover the angle of which to comment? or not

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 13 months ago

@Enlydia - that was funny enough, the comments are the best bit of this page.

@Ryan - don't read it again, you have suffered enough.

htodd profile image

htodd 12 months ago

Thanks for the Great post!

Clairepeek profile image

Clairepeek 12 months ago

You should know that my favourite waste of time is laughing; not in a giggly way but nonsensical smart way. Thanks for offering so generously what I need to remain sane ^_^

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 12 months ago

Claire, that's my kind of reader. I'm not so much into 'jokes' as, well, what I do. By the way, it's not so much generosity, as a need to just keep writing - regardless of traffic, money, fame, success, etc. - I love doing this.

amwalsh profile image

amwalsh 11 months ago

That is the funniest thing I've read today!

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 11 months ago

Thanks amwalsh, and credit to you for scrolling down this far.

Made profile image

Made 10 months ago

Thanks for inspiring me! (I got too tired so I kind of didn't read everything you wrote about writing).

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 10 months ago

Yeah, I went on a bit. It was my best ever hub at the time.

scott33thomas profile image

scott33thomas 10 months ago

I loved these tips to write a good hub

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx Level 2 Commenter 10 months ago

Keep being so honest and saying exactly what everyone else is thinking secretly, but not saying, and you will always be read by those who value honesty in writing! :)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 10 months ago

Thanks Woody, I try to say it, without going too off on one.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 7 months ago

Hi Writer21 - well done for reading it AND scrolling through all those comments! This was pretty much my most successful page, which considering the title was quite a concidence.

I need to write "My Most Financially Rewarding" page at some point...

Thanks for commenting.

Brinafr3sh profile image

Brinafr3sh Level 5 Commenter 5 months ago

I've been busy with other sites, that I will have to choose a week to start adding more hubs. I'm still learning the basics, and I will keep the basic training; this way I can only do good.

jaylucas profile image

jaylucas 4 months ago

You. Are. Silly. I appreciated your humor, however wafer like it might have been. I joined this site on a money hunt. Ugh, I feel shallow. But really, I can't even get adsense to accept me. I have to write "more complete paragraphs". Problem is, I don't know if the things I know people really want to know, you know. So I wrote about crap that might get hits. We shall see. be well.

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 4 months ago

More complete paragraphs? How bizarre. Jaylucas.. I have been writing crap for over a year now, and am still looking forward rather than enjoying success. Good luck to you.

Evelio Faze profile image

Evelio Faze 4 weeks ago

Rubbish!!!

from all the articles I've read on successful hubbing this is the least insightful , off coarse I didn't make it past the first few sentences on those other "better written" hubs. I knew that this was to be a waste of my time, so I read the whole thing to make sure...I was right.

pure rubbish!! I say, as I twiddle my pointy mustache..

(no but seriously, I don't have a pointy mustache)

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 4 weeks ago

Thanks for your comment Evelio. Next time a "great hub" will do just as well. tbh - you did well to scroll through the comments.

Evelio Faze profile image

Evelio Faze 2 weeks ago

"great hubs" then, why not?... great, long lasting, original, funny, entertaining, money making hubs, with amusing original illustrations... and some occasional rubbish for good measure...!

studiolafayette profile image

studiolafayette 11 days ago

Well... I am new here, and with articles like that I start wondering if I have taken the right decision when joining HP...

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie Hub Author 11 days ago

Not entirely sure how you mean that but everyone makes their own way. So you give it a go and see what happens. I write what I write, it's not meant to be an example of anything, and so far I have not really been 'successful'.

But on the big plus side is the enjoyment of HubPages - which really is a great place to start.

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