Funny FAKE Help - How to Drill a Hole in a Piece of Wood

If you have ever wondered about how to drill a hole in some wood then you have come to the right place.

In fact one can only give thanks that you have managed to find your way to this piece of writing, nestled in amongst the other two thousand articles on the subject.

Wood, holes and drilling is my area of expertise – and I have penned this short piece on the subject in order to share my knowledge.

Please don’t confuse this article with others of a similar nature – I can assure you that this subject will be treated in a unique and quality way. This sincerity comes from the wallet, and the heart, but mostly the wallet of course.

If you are tempted to back arrow at this point then can I offer a simple “up yours” by way of gratitude – and a suggestion that in future you check the summary before wasting people’s bandwidth.

For those who are determined to continue reading in their search for genuine informative knowledge then I welcome you as an astute and decent sort of reader.

The author (which is me by the way) is an internet writer.

Not to be confused with a proper writer he (I) is engaged in an attempt to create quality informative content on a 24/7 basis.

This has the twin aims of bringing enlightment to a frankly stupid and ungrateful audience (no offence) and trying to earn an almost honest crust.

Without giving too many secrets away I can assure you that up till this page it has been a bit of a dead loss. Despite this minor drawback I have found time to pen an eBook entitled “How I Made an Absolute Bloody Fortune Writing” - available at all good spam sites.

Back to the subject. It’s important when disseminating learned information in an internet format to keep it short, snappy and to the point.

So let’s get on with it.

I’m assuming here that you already have a piece of wood that you wish to make a hole in. If not, and you are researching ahead of the exciting drilling event, then can I suggest you purchase any wood required from a reliable wood vendor.

This is probably one of those rare occasions when you can’t buy something from Amazon (dammit) so rather than put up an affiliated advert in the hope of making some commission – I have to advise you to visit a wood monger.

Hopefully you haven’t actually bought a drill yet? That’s when my keen marketing mind leaps into action.

What could someone who is searching for wood, holes, drilling and how to - need? Why, a drill of course would be my best guess.

Add in the subtlety of my recommendation which is “you will need a drill” and we are moving rapidly into the kind of quality writing that I aspire to, but which has so far eluded me.

So, yeah, friend – please buy the featured drill from Amazon. It has electric capability and probably some drill pieces so you don’t need to buy those as well. If when you get it you find it doesn’t have some drill bits then just buy a wood one.

Tip: The drill bit is the screwy thing that fits in the end of the drill. The hole in the wood will be dependent on the size of this. Big one = big hole. Small one = … can you believe I’m writing this? Me neither.

Determine where you want the hole or if you are just having fun with your new drill just drill one anywhere.

Make a mark with a pencil or perhaps a screwdriver and place the drill tip at this point in a vertical manner.

Please note: I am not going to be responsible for any accidents you might have. Please be fairly careful about it.

Hold wood, hold drill, press whatever button the excellent drill from Amazon has and make a hole.

To be honest, that’s about it. Practice is a good idea – so if you bought two pieces of wood you can mess about with one until you have the right technique.

I hope that this article on whatever subject (I use the same summary for all my pieces) was informative, hilarious, entertaining, thought provoking – please delete as appropriate.

Please feel free, and it is free unfortunately, to read any of my other excellent articles which have brought a new meaning to the phrase informative quality content.

If you read this far and are feeling slightly disappointed then take it up with Google not me. If you used Bing then it’s your own fault.

Happy surfing!